Just You Wait

I'll admit it; before I had Logan, I would look at moms with two or more kids who never seemed to have it together and think, wow, they're disorganized. I was sure I would have no problem adjusting to having two kids. A few people tried to warn me about how hard it was going to be, but I just brushed off their warnings thinking I had things completely under control. I'd been babysitting my whole life, and had taken care of tons of babies and kids in six years of working in daycare. Two kids was gonna be a breeze.
Wow, was I wrong.
I think my first inkling of my wrongness was when Gehrig first visited me and Logan in the hospital. The numbness from the spinal for my c-section was still wearing off so I couldn't move, and I watched helplessly as Gehrig tore around the room being his normal, hyper two-year-old self. He made me exhausted just watching him, and I wondered how I would have time to just enjoy and cuddle Logan like I wanted to.
I spent the first month feeling torn and guilty. I felt like neither of my boys was getting enough of my love or attention, and I didn't have any time to myself. I was exhausted with nighttime feedings for Logan and chasing Gehrig during the day. Logan was nothing like the sweet, calm baby Gehrig had been and spent most of the day screaming. If I was going to get anything around the house done, I had to do it during nap time which meant no nap for me. Mike was working all the time so I felt completely alone.
It seemed like my life of screaming newborns and terrible twos would never end, but at some point it did. I'm not even sure when--and some days it does come back, but thankfully it's not every day now. However, getting out the door is nearly impossible. I, who have been perpetually early my whole life, now run late nearly all the time. I try to only go one place when we go out so that I don't have to keep hefting my huge boys in and out of their carseats. And I have learned NOT to take Logan into any store in his carseat--it's a pain to put him in the sling just to run into Bi-Lo to get bread, but it's worth the hassle to avoid the screaming as I try to check out.
So you may look at me and think I'm completely disorganized and have no clue what I'm doing; that you'd do a much better job than I. That's okay. Just you wait.