Before Logan was born, everyone asked me if I was ready or if I was worried, but I quickly answered that I didn't think I'd have any problems adjusting to two kids. I'd been babysitting my whole life and had worked in daycare for over six years; I figured adding another baby to our house would be no problem. Hah! Little did I know.
Adjusting to having two little boys is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Nearly every day I just felt like collapsing in a heap of tears--I was so torn between the two of them that I felt like the worst mother in the world. I felt bad for Gehrig because he no longer had all of my attention, but then I also felt bad for Logan because he would never have all my attention like Gehrig did. I just wanted to be able to curl up and cuddle with my baby, but I couldn't 'cause I had Gehrig to chase. It really didn't help that Mike was working all the time. Even when he was home I felt like I didn't get to see him because Logan spent all day screaming.
One thing that really helped was knowing that what I was going through was normal. My mom and my brother called me numerous times to check on me 'cause they remembered how rough that transition was for them. Their understanding made me feel so much better. And then one night, as I was doing my devotions while rocking a fussy Logan, I discovered that God understood too. I just happened to be reading Isaiah 40, and as I read verse 11, I almost started crying.
"He shall feed His flock like a shepherd: He shall gather the lambs with His arm, and carry them in His bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young."
I'm so glad I have a God who understands how hard being a young mother is and Who gently leads me when I really need Him to.